Empty Rooms, Empty Halls
by tinylexie
Summary: Narcissa realizes just how empty Malfoy Manor is after Lucius is imprisoned at Azkaban and after Draco is given an impossible mission by the Dark Lord.
Narcissa had always been used to the feelings of loneliness and emptiness. Even as a young girl with two parents and two sisters, Narcissa had often felt as if she was completely alone in the world. Bellatrix had always thought that she was weak, pathetic, and fragile, and Andromeda had always thought that she was a silly little girl who was incapable of having her own thoughts and beliefs. As for her parents, they really only noticed Narcissa when Bellatrix and Andromeda had annoyed them to such a point that they finally realized that they did have a third daughter who they insisted to her face was absolutely perfect. All the other times, of course, it was as if Narcissa did not exist, despite the fact that she was so perfect.

All that had changed when Narcissa had met Lucius. Unlike her parents and her sisters, Lucius had never thought her silly or pathetic. In fact, Lucius had always insisted that she was smart and clever and that her thoughts and beliefs were valid and well-reasoned. To Lucius, she had always been more than just a Pureblood woman whose only purpose was to one day give him a Pureblood heir. To Lucius, she had always been both a friend and a true partner in life.

* * *

There were two truly happy days in Narcissa's life. The first was the day that she had married Lucius. The second was the day that Draco had been born.

Lucius and Draco. Her two men. Her two reasons for living. And with the way that things were currently going, she could possibly lose the both of them.

Narcissa was used by now to Draco being away at Hogwarts for most of the year, and she was also used by now to being alone for most of the day as Lucius tended to be gone because of the various side-businesses he was engaged in.

This year, however, everything was completely different. Narcissa was truly alone at Malfoy Manor. Her husband was imprisoned at Azkaban, which meant that Narcissa would not anytime soon be sharing any dinners with him or sharing a bed with him at night. As for her son, he was away at Hogwarts on a mission for the Dark Lord, a mission which Narcissa knew that the Dark Lord did not intend for Draco to survive. And all for the sake of punishing and hurting Lucius in the worse way possible.

* * *

Narcissa looked outside a window and closed her eyes. She could still remember all the nights that Lucius had approached her at this same window, holding her close as he ran his fingers tenderly through her hair and as he bent down his head to give her a soft kiss.

Narcissa's eyes quickly flew open. The happy memory was quickly lost to horrible reality.

It would be a long time, if ever, before Lucius would ever again approach her at this window.

 _No, don't think that,_ Narcissa quickly scolded herself. _Lucius will return one day._

It was hard, however, for Narcissa to think such positive thoughts. Her world had been completely turned upside down, and she saw no way of fixing it.

Narcissa soon found herself, as she had already done many times since everything had changed for the worse, imagining her husband locked in a dark, cold cage as if he was some sort of animal.

Narcissa's thoughts then turned to Draco. Her thoughts toward her son, though, were just as bleak as her thoughts toward her husband. Lucius was in prison because of the Dark Lord, and now that monster had placed Draco in a different type of prison but still a prison nevertheless.

* * *

Narcissa began to walk down the hall, the empty hall.

 _This hall should have been filled with children laughing and playing during the summer,_ _and some of these guest rooms should have belonged to mine and Lucius's other children._

It was as if an unseen force was forcing Narcissa's steps. She found herself walking down the hall that led to what should have been Ara's bedroom.

Ara. Her sweet, precious Ara. Another reason why the day she had married Lucius had been one of two happiest days of her life.

Narcissa could not help but smile slightly. If only the Pureblood society had known the _real_ reason why she and Lucius had gotten married several months ahead of schedule.

Narcissa's smile, however, did not last for long. She could never forget the day that Ara had been born. The memory of Ara not crying still brought tears to her eyes and unbearable pain to her entire body.

Ara had been a stillborn, and she had not been the only child that Narcissa and Lucius had lost. There had been several miscarriages following Ara's death. There had even been a time when Narcissa had been about ready to leave Malfoy Manor so that Lucius could marry a Pureblood woman who would actually be able to give him an heir. Lucius, though, had caught her in time and had managed to convince her to stay.

Narcissa was glad that she had not left. Despite all the heartache that she and her husband had gone through over the years, she would not trade all their happy memories for anything in the world.

Just like she would not trade Draco for anything in the world. Even though she would never stop thinking about what life would have been liked if Ara and the other babies had lived, her son would always be precious to her.

 _I wonder if the other babies would have been girls like Ara or boys like Draco._

Sometimes Narcissa imagined Draco being her and Lucius's only son. Other times Ara was their only daughter. Yet other times they had the same amount of sons and daughters.

None of Narcissa's imaginations, though, could change the horrible reality that Draco was both her and Lucius's only child and only son.

There was also nothing that could change the reality that before the school year was up, it was very possible that Narcissa and Lucius would have no children at all.

 _No, don't think that._ _Severus will look after Draco. He will keep Draco safe. He knows how dear Draco is to me and to Lucius._

If Severus failed, though, there was the strong possibility that she could lose Draco, just like she had already lost Lucius.

 _What if Azkaban breaks Lucius? He can't stand closed places. Walls terrify him. He always feels like they're closing in around him. Oh, Lucius, oh, Draco, how I miss the both of you._

"I just want both of my men back with me," Narcissa whispered through her tears. "I can't stand much more of these empty rooms and these empty halls."

Empty rooms and empty halls that should have been filled with the sounds of life and happiness that only multiple children could bring.

* * *

 **Author's Note** **: The sections about Ara and the miscarriages that followed Ara's death are based on my Dead Babies Series. The full list of stories in this series can be found on my profile page.**


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